The circus comes to town every year. Little Billy is so excited. The circus is his most favorite thing in the whole world. He loves clowns; they are hilarious. He gets there super early to stand in line and gets the best seat in the house. He's the first person there and gets to sit in the first row first seat. He's ecstatic! The curtain goes up and it's everything he hoped for. Then the clowns come out in the final part. They begin their performance asking for the lucky person in seat 1 row 1 to come be part of the show. Billy's heart races and he scurries down the aisle, down the stairs and into the ring. He couldn't be more thrilled, except it turns out he's the butt a particular clown's jokes. Pie in his face, a bucket of water tossed on him, feathers fall down sticking to him. He's mortified. Billy has never been so embarrassed. He leaves the circus, what was to be the greatest day ever...seething.
Billy spends the next year plotting his revenge. He's determined to return to the next performance and be the first person in line again, to get the first seat in the first row and be called to be part of the show. When it happens he'll let that clown have it. But the circus falls on hard times and it takes years and years before it returns to Billy's little town. Time and time again he looks through the paper only to see that the circus will not be in town again this year. He's crushed with each passing year, but never loses sight of his mission.
Finally, the circus returns 20 years later to the day of his humiliation. Billy gets there early and is the first in line. He purchases a ticket for the first seat in the first row. The show begins and he lies in wait. Patiently watching the lions, elephants, trapezes artists, and the high wire performances. Then the moment he has waited for! The clowns drive their car to center ring, pouring out of the little jalopy. There he is! That bastard clown that stole his youth. Billy is called down into the ring to participate in the show. The crowd cheers as the clown goes to Billy to usher him down for the performance of his dreams. But Billy doesn't follow. He simply stand and says "Fuck you clown! Fuck you!" And walks out of the tent.
TL:TR - Fucking worst joke ever, but my wife laughs so freaking hard every time she tells it that she can't even tell the whole thing. I find the fact she thinks this awful joke is so amazing hilarious and end up dying laughing, too, but the joke it self is God awful
TL:TR of the TL:TR - fucking worst joke ever! Lol - long, drawn out, not funny, major let down.
Your lazy eye joke made my laugh. Before a few surgeries people would comment on how young I was to be wearing bifocal glasses. I would give them my diagnosis: intermittent accommodating esotropia. Then I would have to explain it, followed by the inevitable "is that lazy eye?" I usually say, yeah, and if my eye just tried harder I would have 20/20 vision. lol!
That's not as bad as a friend of mine who lost her eye to a degenerative ocular condition. People would ask her how she lost her eye. She would tell them about the time she learned not to run with scissors the hard way. Lol! I cringe every time I tell that story and it didn't even happen.
How many tickles does it take make an octopus laugh?
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out-standing in his field.
I love these...it took my wife a minute to get the ninja shoes one. She's looking for shoes online and I looked over should. The "nina" shoes looked like "ninja". I laughed and said they didn't look like sneakers. Lol! When you have to spend two minutes explaining your joke --that's a clue it might not be funny. Then again, I was laughing so...
Here's one for all you psychologically minded folks out there.
My wife texts me the other day. saying our Keurig has decided to stop working properly and we should get a new coffee maker. My reply? It seems ambivalent so before getting a new one I'll try some motivational interbrewing to see if it will contemplate making a change."
I was dying. It was so terrible it was an instant classic. It has become what the clown joke is for my wife.
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