Post by freezorburn on Mar 26, 2016 2:22:20 GMT -5
Wondering how everyone is doing. Anyone interested in a sporadic check-in?
Also, is anyone interested in doing the Mother's Day exchange again? i'd be happy to organize. It was really nice last year, which was my first as a single parent.
For my own little update, we're still dealing with a lot of transitions. DS got an autism diagnosis last fall, and we are working on figuring out what that means in terms of preschool and therapy. STBX and I are getting better at the co-parenting thing. There's still a lot of new territory to cover, but communication is improving. We have finally begun working on the terms of our divorce, and that's really been occupying most of my time.
I feel really, really fortunate to have a great support system in place. Old friends and new. It's been terrible to lose my marriage, but I have gained such wonderful friendships that have helped me to work towards finding peace with the situation.
I hope everyone out there, whatever your circumstances, is able to find the support you need for whatever you are going through.
Ok, it helps to finish posts. I'd be more likely to pop in with sporadic check ins, I think and I'm interested in doing a mother's day exchange. I wasn't active here at that time last year.
As for updates, there's nothing really different except I'm sort of on speaking terms with DDs dad and that DD is growing like a weed. She's clapping, crawling, doing small climbs on top of toys, walking along furniture, waving, and gives "kisses". Unfortunately it also seems as though being on speaking terms means that DDs dad can sweet talk me back, at least this is how it comes across in his behavior.
I'm still attempting to date, though that could be up for debate. I'm planning to attempt a career move by applying to a career switcher program that would allow me more job stability by moving into teaching health and p.e. in grades k-12 instead of adjunct teaching at a college. All in all, DD I are chugging along.
Great to hear from you, lolo918! Good luck with the switcher program.
I'm thinking maybe a monthly check-in? It seems like weekly would be a too much, especially if we tend to be active on other boards. I know monthly might feel sporadic but we can all update at our convenience and it would be better than have things be quiet for weeks and weeks.
I'll see if I can change the title of the thread and just make this our April check-in.
Was lurking around and thought I would hop in. It's not a board I ever thought I would need, but here I am. 2 months ago I was notified by my husband of almost 12 years that he had found someone else. He moved out that night. I have a 10 year old daughter that I have full physical custody of right now (not through the courts yet, but the "ex" and I both know she's better off with me). It's all amicable right now and I've done a lot of healing and moving on in the past 2 months. We are actually doing quite well. When someone is so vile and hurts you so deeply, it was almost easier to move on because I KNOW I don't deserve that and don't want any part of it.
I'm a SAHM right now (because of his guilt, he's supporting us from afar until divorce is started/final) and have been for 10 years. That's a whole 'nother battle.
Single parenting is rough, man. It's tiring. And you never get a break! I'm still getting used to it, after 10 years of having that person to help me. But I'm beyond thrilled I have her, and we're pushing through.
Welcome, chapter79. Sorry you are here under such difficult circumstances. Your story sounds a lot like mine, actually. My STBX left last winter and was not around for most of last year. We have only recently begun to formalize our divorce. It is tough, but I feel like I'm progressively moving towards a better/different equilibrium. I've been a SAHM since DS was born (about 4 years ago) and I'm preparing to return to work. Let me know if you have any questions about anything. I'm also happy to chat via PM if you are more comfortable that way.
Not much new here either.. ex sees our son 6-10 hours a week and that's about it. We were unsuccessful at mediation but I've been advised to wait until he legally challenges me for joint custody since as it stands, I have sole custody de facto and the longer I have that, the better chance I have of being awarded sole custody if/when he ever takes me to court. I make all his decisions anyways and ex doesn't seem to have much of his own input. So status quo here.
I'm going back to school in September, I just started nannying and I'm dating again after over a year and a half. Crazy!
So I guess I have one more update? I told you Ex/DD's dad has been trying hard to sweet talk me. Only he has used being on sort of speaking terms to show me that he can be different. I'm taking it one day at a time, but so far so good. We definitely still have a long way to go, but he says he's in it for the long hail this time since he made this mess for himself.
Its hard not to see my primary identity as a single mom. I chose to have kiddo 5 years ago, by myself. One year ago I started dating then moved in a person Ive known for a long time... she is separated legally, still pending divorce, please to all the powers in the universe, let mediation stick... so Im a single mom. with a partner, who is also a single mom, but her kids have 2 parents and are adjusting to the placement schedule etc. So if formerly single, now coupled counts, Id love to check in. I still belong to a few queer single parents fb pages, and with some of this, I feel I will always feel single to a degree. It was too formative in my thinking to choose to have a child by myself to ever give those thoughts up entirely. I wish this area was more active!
Hi guys! I've been Mia(real bad) because I keep running out of storage on my phone and deleting all my apps to take more pictures. I have some updates! My little guy turned one last Monday! We are officially entering toddlerhood and I CANNOT believe a whole year has gone by already that I can say I DID IT all on my own. I've never been more proud of myself in my life. BD conveniently decided to check himself in to rehab 2 days before our court date where he would have been sent to jail for his nonpayment of child support (seriously nothing not ever not even 10 cents) I am starting a new job for the town in a week! Making 6$ more an hour with a nys retirement plan and free dental and vision plus DS and I can finally come off of Medicaid and will have GREAT insurance ! That's about it. I'm all for a check in since I can't get on here much
@sherminator, I have been married for almost two years now and still have to stop myself from saying that I am a "single mom". My Husband is a wonderful partner and awesome with splitting all parenting duties... yet I still have that piece of me that will always be a single mom.
Once you parent on your own for a while you are changed and you will never look at parenting the same way again.
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